Mafia Gazette Past Issue 16
3rd September, 2005 'MR MAFIA SECOND FIFTEEN' By: Trixie Well folks, the second group of studs from our streets have been announced, and I feel it is my duty to tell you all the truth, about our boys. So here it is, from one girl to the next... What people are really thinking about these men. Sefton said that if this was a judge of smell, and he does hope that will be a factor, that he has it covered. That’s right, not only is he a cutie, but he has over 50 different types of cologne. Rex_n8 who may be lacking in the looks department, hence his gas mask that he always seems to be wearing. But he is a complete sweetheart, and maybe he can charm the judges into first place. Carmine_Gotti has survival tactics of a cockroach. If an atomic bomb went off, this man would survive. Plus, who doesn't love a man who is fluent in Italian? AntonioMontello1 is stunning, his body of a god, sorry ladies he’s engaged. His Fiancée said that he was a total sweetheart, with a rear end carved from marble. Yummy! Yasser Is an all around good guy, who has a slight gambling problem but has managed to turn it into a business and profited from it. Limey is just one cool guy, rating a 9.8 on the cool meter. If coolness were a hidden talent, he'd get a ten from me! Miguel, Oh Miguel. Is there anything to say about him that he hasn’t already told us himself? He's fantastic. Nuff' said. Aurelius_Marcus may just win by charm alone. He is suave and loves the ladies, two or three at a time sometimes. MadDog Is one cocky man. He goes after what he wants, and doesn't let anything stand in his way, even if it means dropping a couple hundred thousand to get there. Optimus might just win for being an all around awesome guy. He's everything a girl is looking for and then some. Frank White Just wants some of the spotlight, he may not win. But we'll clap anyway to be polite. Under_Boss is a take-charge kind of guy, I can't wait to see what happens with him. Boo_Diggins is an alcoholic who likes to build things. He's slightly cocky when he rubs in his fantastic life to others, but he means well. He is a total sweetheart who has a love for rainstorms. V_C, much like Miguel, what is there to say that he won’t tell us first? He's laid back, and tells it like it is. He's the first one to step out and tell you like it is. His favourite food is green pepper, and sausage pizza; perhaps cooking is his hidden talent? Mr_Wiggles, EVERYBODY DANCE NOW! Mr_Wiggles is going to bust onto the scene with his fro, and his glasses, and those sequined shorts and blow everyone out of the water. Well there you have it kids, the truth about the contestants. All I can say is good luck everyone, I wish you all the best. And may the sexiest man win...which means its not going to be Tie. 'MR MAFIA CONTEST – RUMOURS OF BRIBES ' There have been several rumours of bribery during these first few days of the Mr Mafia contest as well as several allegations of threats of violence against the contestants. The judges and the two sponsors, Shackleford and BarbieDahl have all strenuously denied these claims stating that the threats were scaremongering by opponents of the contest. Several protestors actually set up camp outside the contest and it is believed that the rumours have stemmed from this quarter. Several disgruntled men were also rumoured to be in this group after not being nominated for the contest, and Police have stated that one may hold a grudge against the contest organisers for this reason. 'IN DEFENCE OF MONTELLO' By: Tea_Jenny With the recent rumours concerning Mr Montello a good friend of his decided to speak out in his defence, although he wishes to remain anonymous, he is well respected within the mafia community and is a well-known face among us. Mr Montello, a respected man but like many of us has made a few foes in his life. His friend, while accepting that he has enemies, sees these rumours as a direct slander from one or more of these enemies. Who are these few, who hold such a grudge, that they would try to ruin his reputation? Not even Mr Montello himself knows but his friend warns, "should he or associates find out they would surely pay the price with their lives." and goes on to say, "What else would be appropriate for slandering such a respected man?" When asked about the mystery men he told us he has had a few brief chats with them in the jail yard but that is all it amounts to. Finally, he told me that he has no problem with the Mystery Men and what they do, as long as it doesn't directly concern him. So is Mr Montello just another victim of false accusation in the name of revenge? You be the judge. 'THE MYSTERY MEN' Comment By Rattlehead As a journalist I try to be impartial to the happenings in the world around me and attempt to concentrate only on the facts of what is occurring. As such, when investigating happenings in the streets, I try to blank out the rash and bitter opinions of a vast number of inhabitants and concentrate on actual events. However, as I was walking down the sidewalk in search of a new story, I couldn’t help but overhear many angry citizens shouting their views for the world to hear. The main subject causing this uproar? The Mystery Men. As I moved in to investigate I found one rather large crowd that was the centre of this mass of hatred. In the centre was a man standing on a soap box and shouting things like: “A few retards got guns” and “Mystery Idiots, come and get me.” I couldn’t help thinking, ‘is this guy suicidal? Does he want some of the most dangerous people in our cities out to get him?’ And his outburst caused an immediate backlash from the crowd standing around. One gentleman told the speaker that he had an “awful” understanding of the Mystery Men. One man claimed that the Mystery Men were “Teddy Bears”, much to the amusement of those standing around him. However, many of the crowd didn’t see the humour, their dislike of the Mystery Men very apparent. One man, Inferi, actually came forward and admitted to the whole street that he is a Mystery Man. He had this to say: “Everyone, why try to kill us? We’ll just come back into your city, get our guns and kill you. Yes, we may have killed your Street Boss. Oh well, get over it. Just think of it as ‘Street Cleaning’”. He also commented on his views of the Street Bosses: “Only a few are good enough that we don’t kill them and they are still alive.” I personally find this statement very disturbing. These are people, not vermin to be exterminated. They have friends, family, ambitions, hopes and desires. I was attempting to stay impartial, but I seemed to be failing at this point and Inferi’s response had left me feeling angry. Someone else in the crowd must have felt similarly as he likened the Mystery Men to the infamous Gunmen of the Apocalypse. However, another supporter of the Mystery Men, Randle_McMurphy reminded the crowd that their forebears had tried to gain respect without violence and subsequently became the victims of violent attacks and bloody murders. My beliefs in non-violence and democracy were suddenly shaken. Maybe respect is only earned through blood. Kill or be killed. Survival of the fittest. MST made this statement to onlookers: “If half of you who insult the Mystery Men talked to them, tried to understand them, this world would be a great place.” After Randle’s comments, I can’t help but wonder if they are just misunderstood. People fear what they do not understand. Soon after this statement the crowds dispersed with many people looking undecided about their views and many more looking less hateful. Maybe the Mystery Men taking over would not be such a bad thing. Once they are in control, they have no one left to kill, right? Then we can all live in a safe community with law and order? Who knows. As for me, I left feeling that I am closer to understanding the phenomenon that is the Mystery Men. 'BOOK REVIEW ' From: Original_Chunkyness Sent: 2005-09-03 04:27 OCs Rules to being a good mafioso! The new read out there that gives YOU the opportunity to share a long lifetime of wealth and respect. Sitting in jail after a 60 year old hag named Judge Jody gave you two hours for robbing your friends grandmother? Then read this set of rules and learn the ethics of life as a mobster! Including the art of crew politics, advice on ladies, having an alibi and much more! A lady. A mysterious creature whom we all have weak spots somewhere in our hearts for. Now you can get some healthy advice on trust and pickings when it comes to women! Just read OCs Rules! Read OCs Rules for a better understanding of your life in the mob. Stay clean and watch your backs. NEWSPAPER SUBSCRIPTION SERVICE The Gazette will now be offering a subscription service for anyone wishing to receive the Mafia Gazette by mob mail or post. Subscriptions will cost$200 per week, $380 per fortnight, $700 per month or $5,000 for a lifetime subscription (post option only for fortnightly, monthly or lifetime subscriptions). All subscriptions will start from the day after subscription fees are paid. Please contact Tallulah for details of subscriptions or to apply to deliver the Gazette weekly subscriptions. Anyone wishing to submit articles should do so by 10am Mafia time on the day of publications. Articles will be paid for on an individual basis. Please contact Tallulah, Editor of The Mafia Gazette, at the Gazette Offices, Chicago. All articles must conform to the guidelines available in the booklet “Newspaper Recruiting” available on the newsstand. '' 'COOKERY CORNER Recipes From Rhiannon Roman Pizza Recipe Summary Difficulty: Easy Prep Time: 15 minutes Cook Time: 15 minutes Yield: 6 servings 2 (8-ounce) pieces of purchased or homemade pizza dough, recipe follows 1/3 cup homemade or purchased marinara sauce 1/3 cup (lightly packed) shredded smoked mozzarella cheese 1 cup (lightly packed) shredded Fontina cheese 2 ounces mushrooms, thinly sliced 2 ounces pancetta, chopped Position 1 oven rack in the center and the second rack on the bottom of the oven and preheat to 450 degrees F. Roll out each piece of pizza dough into a 13 1/2 by 8 1/2-inch rectangle. Transfer to separate large baking sheets. Spoon the marinara sauce over the pizzas, dividing equally and leaving a 1-inch border around each pizza. Sprinkle the mozzarella and Fontina cheeses over the pizzas, dividing equally. Sprinkle the mushrooms and pancetta over the cheese. Bake the pizzas until the crusts are crisp and brown on the bottom and the cheese is melted on top, about 15 minutes. Cut the pizzas crosswise into rectangular slices and serve immediately. ------------------- Pizza Dough: 1/2 cup warm water (105 to 110 degrees F) 2 teaspoons active dry yeast 2 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for kneading 1 teaspoon salt 3 tablespoons olive oil, plus more for bowl Mix the warm water and yeast in a small bowl to blend. Let stand until the yeast dissolves, about 5 minutes. Mix the flour and salt in a food processor to blend. Blend in the oil. With the machine running, add the yeast mixture and blend just until the dough forms. Turn the dough out onto lightly floured surface and knead until smooth, about 1 minute. Transfer the dough to a large oiled bowl and turn the dough to coat with the oil. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and set aside in a warm draft-free area until the dough doubles in volume, about 1 hour. Punch the down dough and form into ball. The dough can be used immediately or stored airtight in the refrigerator for 1 day. Yield: 1 (16-ounce) ball of pizza dough Prep Time: 10 minutes Inactive PrepTime: 1 hour 'WE HEAR THAT… ' Gossip column by: Trixie ....Mithras is in a huff about not being nominated for the Mr. Mafia contest when he already had his evening gown picked out. He was seen talking to someone about how his tap-dancing surpasses everyone else’s pathetic talent. ....TowerOfBeer is really nothing more than a 3' stack of empty cans that Trevor started late one night after consuming all his turnips. That’s right, Tower Of beer contains no beer. ....TieDomiII is a poop head. That’s not really gossip, but I felt you should I know anyway. ....Sal_Monella is nothing other than a cross dressing dog humper. I stopped by his home this morning, only to have him demand I hump his leg and offering me candy. I was then chased down the street, while he waved a twenty dollar bill at me, and screamed out my name... it was quiet the spectacle. I also saw some women’s undergarments under his clothing... Strange no? 'CLASSIFIEDS ' Anyone wishing to place an ad should send it in to Tallulah at the Gazette Offices in Chicago. All ads are free, but must still fall within the set guidelines. '''Finding Neverland Bar Are you looking for a place to kick back, have a few laughs and maybe a hand or two of strip poker? Then we're your bar! Bring this coupon in, and you can see Puck shirtless and pretending he's hot. 'REFERENCES' '''1. '''Article taken from http://pvp.a.mafia.org/gazette.php?issue=22. Browse • • • • • • •